"I’ve kept track of time from the beginning, when there were weeks left of waiting. I’ve kept track of time until it became a matter of hours. It works no longer. Actually, it never did. We found a way of measuring the unmeasurable, which could only be as efficient as catching smoke with our bare hands. We live happily feeding the illusion that we somehow own Time, as if we could shape it according to our will. Few things hurt like the truth of Time - it bends us. Controls and shapes us. Not the other way around. How helpless we are, all of us, how compromised our sanity becomes in acknowledging this. Time owns us.
I accept the truth in this statement, but I rebel against it. It will not do - resignation. I shall keep track of time, even if it does keep track of me - I have no other way of getting closer to that which I crave the most.”